Since the election I have openly stated that I pray for an
absolute failure of the Trump Administration, and I have received some
adversarial response to that position. I have been asked if I understand that a
failure of this administration would mean wide-scale suffering of people, and
to that question I write this response.
I am fully aware that a wholesale failure of our incoming
administration will result in suffering for millions of Americans, however, I
am also aware that a success of this administration will result in the
suffering of millions of Americans as well. This administration is the epitome
of the Kobayahsi Maru for America, meaning a test that has no possible
solution. So for those who think me cold-hearted for wishing for the failure of
this administration, I must ask you a few questions.
Have you spent hours in AIDS hospices watching people die a
slow and painful death, alone because their families abandoned them, or because
there were no laws in place to allow life-partners to make important decisions,
or in some cases even sit with them and hold their hand as they died? Have you
looked into the eyes of the young man who is living on the streets, dying from
an illness he contracted because he was forced to prostitute himself on the streets
so he could eat because his parents disowned him for being gay? Have you walked
down the street in fear of being beaten because your hand accidentally brushed
against the hand of the person you love? Have you endured the mental anguish of
being ridiculed and beaten for being different? Have you sat with tears rolling
down your cheeks as you listened to countless names of people you know being
read aloud at an AIDS quilt memorial? Have you had your adopted sister tell you
that you were not welcome to ever see your nieces and nephews because her
homophobic husband won’t allow her “diseased faggot” brother near his children?
Have you ever had an illness that made you so sick that your doctor was forced
to tell you a common cold would kill you? Have you had to endure the suffering
of medications that made you so ill that your body wasted to nothing but skin
and bone because you could not hold down food? Have you suffered side effects
of medications like Avascular Necrosis (short for Bone Death) that causes the
bones in your bones to painfully die and decay? Have you looked in the eyes of
the person you love and started to cry because you can’t openly show the world
how much you love them like others can?
So you ask me if I understand how many people would suffer
if the new administration fails? I can only submit that all of the questions I
just asked you, are actual experiences that I have survived in my life. Each
and every one of those questions are real life experiences for me, and millions
of Americans just like me. You may think that I am heartless when I say that
the suffering of millions of Americans is nothing more than collateral damage,
but millions of Americans have been collateral damage for decades already, and
maybe, just maybe those who have been lucky enough to avoid being collateral
damage need to experience what it is like to be in the same place as those of
us who have been there all our lives.
No, I am not cold-hearted, in fact, my heart will break for every human being who suffers in the what will hopefully be the most epic administration failure in American history. My heart will break for them, including those who would chose to deny me of the most basic of civil and human rights. But I assert that today, if there cannot be equality in freedom, civil, and human rights, then there must be equality in suffering. If there cannot be an America where everyone can thrive and live without fear, then there must be equality in the loss of the American dream.
No, I am not cold-hearted, in fact, my heart will break for every human being who suffers in the what will hopefully be the most epic administration failure in American history. My heart will break for them, including those who would chose to deny me of the most basic of civil and human rights. But I assert that today, if there cannot be equality in freedom, civil, and human rights, then there must be equality in suffering. If there cannot be an America where everyone can thrive and live without fear, then there must be equality in the loss of the American dream.
For those of you who have not experienced wholesale
suffering, I can only say that it does get better, but only after decades of
losses, only after years of living in fear and witnessing horrors that will
keep you awake at night. I do not wish this upon you, for in all honesty the
life I have lived I would not wish upon anyone. But I did not support this. I
did not support an administration and policies that would directly impact my
life by removing all the protections that have been fought for over decades.
But you did. You supported this. You chose to vote for an administration that
would divert funding from AIDS research to Conversion Therapy. You chose to
vote for an administration that has put into power men who have spent entire
careers opposing equal rights. You chose to ignore the blatant discriminatory nature
of the people you cast your vote for, so it is only fitting that you share the
suffering that you chose to impose on me, my friends, my family, and the
millions of others like me.
So to finally answer your question, yes, I am fully aware of the suffering you may soon be forced to endure, and I will fight to my last breath to help ensure this administration fails at every turn when it comes to the repression of civil and human rights. I already have skin in the game; I have for decades. Now I want to see your skin in the game as well. I want to see just how far and hard you are willing to fight for your own basic rights and survival. I want to see how well you sleep at night when you are forced to face the atrocities of being second class citizens. I know I will sleep just fine, for I have had many years of practice, and through it all, I am still here.
So to finally answer your question, yes, I am fully aware of the suffering you may soon be forced to endure, and I will fight to my last breath to help ensure this administration fails at every turn when it comes to the repression of civil and human rights. I already have skin in the game; I have for decades. Now I want to see your skin in the game as well. I want to see just how far and hard you are willing to fight for your own basic rights and survival. I want to see how well you sleep at night when you are forced to face the atrocities of being second class citizens. I know I will sleep just fine, for I have had many years of practice, and through it all, I am still here.
Will you be?
